be like a zebra.

Ah the life of a zebra.

Not only do they have cool stripes, but did you know they don’t get ulcers? It’s impossible.

Why you ask?

Because while zebras live a pretty stressful life – what with running from lions and all, they don’t dwell on the stress.

Lion chasing them – stress. Lion goes away – no memory whatsoever of what just happened.

Now I like my memory. But it would be wonderful to be able to turn the perseverating off.

what’s that saying? “Let go. Let God.”

right. wish it was a tad easier.

on the other side.

Five days ago, I went into this cabin leader thing nervous and excited. 

I thought of my experience in junior high, and how much i loved my cabin leader/dorm leader (super summer was different), kristi. 

I went in not knowing any of my girls. All I had was a pink list that told me I was in cabin 1857, and had six girls (one of which who switched cabins). So the remaining five and I hung out for the week. It started off well, they gelled fairly well together. Sydney began to break out of her shell, and Marleah and Lindsey asked more questions.

One day in, I felt like I had known them for weeks. These girls were so much fun, and they adored me. It’s an incredible feeling. We faced the high ropes course along with our fears of heights, played together on the aqua jumps, and even though we were split for the low edge, shared our team work experiences together. 

I loved hearing them all, especially Marleah speak about how she looked forward to the debrief time, and her quiet time. How their eyes lit up when something connected. They glowed. They raved about how much they loved listening to Eric, the speaker, talk.

Some combination hit right. And even now, I wonder what might have happened had I told Angie, “No.” Because last night, during Eric’s invitation. God got through to Marleah, Sydney, and Lindsey. Eric asked the leaders to head to the back where students could approach them. 

Instantly, Marleah came back to me and hugged me. She told me that she had just asked Jesus into her heart for the first time. She thanked me for being there for her, for helping her along. That was by far the MOST incredible experience of my life. I was able to hold them as they cried this mixture of happy sad tears, and celebrate at the same time. Later, Lindsey and Sydney told me they asked Jesus into their hearts as well. And Olivia realized how badly she needed strong friends to push her towards God.

I was changed. This time, not by a direct thing the speaker said, but because of these girls that I learned to love so deeply in five days. They had the ability to make and break my heart. I would do anything to protect them, and still will. It’s a strange feeling, but an exciting one too. 

leader beats camper any day.

one room. seven junior high girls and me.

This time last year, I was running like Jonah. I didn’t want to go to camp, because I knew God would meet me there with news I didn’t want to hear. Of course he caught up with me, like he always does. 

Here I am, one year later. I’m going back to camp. but so much is different. I’m preparing to go away to school next year. I’ve been to Israel and back. God and I are on speaking terms. To name just a few, and one big change this year that sets apart from all the others.

i will be a cabin leader for junior high girls.

That’s right. One more step in growing up. 

One request from my.. like four readers? pray for me. and for these girls. and that God do incredible things.

i am so excited!

come and gone. forever changed.

One month and two days ago, I returned from probably the most impacting journey of my life; physical and emotional.

I remember praying during a team meeting several months ago that we would allow God to use this trip to completely change our lives. but not just for a week or two afterwards, like a ‘camp high,’ but forever. Eric said that Israel would change us forever.. but I don’t know if I believed him. Honestly, knowing where I was spiritually at that time.. I’m not sure if I knew what I was praying. To be completely honest. I just knew that church trips usually end up making you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, and this time I didn’t want it to go away.

Now granted, I’m aware that life with God is still a rollercoaster. But I don’t know if any similar trip has changed me this much. Time will tell I suppose. Although I do notice a joy inside me. Before, following Christ was falling back into it’s ho-hum routine. Go to church, Do worship team, Go to Thirst, Go to LifeGroups on Wednesday.. and done. I knew all the other stuff. All the facts. But I was letting it become a religion, not working for my relationship.

Post-Israel, I’ve seen God changing me. Heck, I cleaned up the kitchen last night simply because I thought it would make my mom’s job easier. For those of you who know me… yea that’s not a normal thing. [Not that I don't like to make my mom's job easier.. I simply don't think of it!]

I promise that my stories from Israel are coming. Summer is busier than it should be, and I’m pretty scatterbrained. :].

good enough to post twice.

truth.

yesterday i drove across the country in a mini van

97 days until I walk across the gym outfitted in my blue cap and gown, complete with hawaiian lei at Mill Valley and shake Dr. Joe’s hand as I accept my diploma that states I am now a highschool graduate.40 days until i am no longer a minor. i can sign my own release forms. buy lotto tickets if i please. order off of infomercials. VOTE! be arrested and tried as an adult. [no worries. i'm not doing that route]. and i swear it was yesterday my mom and i were driving across the country in our green mini van stocked with doughnuts and miscellaneous other junk food as my dad and sister rode in the un-airconditioned moving van, complete with ice chests for cooling purposes. it was august fourth, 2001. where did it go? when did six, almost seven years soar past me? when did i become a teenager? when did i grow up? for that matter, when did my baby sister grow up? they say that as you get older, time passes faster.i used to not believe them. holy crud is that true. i remember waiting for time to pass. now i feel like i wished it away. it used to be that as soon as i turned an age, i wanted the next year to come. after all. thirteen meant i was cool. wow was that a long time ago. they also say that time flies when you’re having fun. while it does do that, i’m beginning to think it flies right by itself, no fun necessary.not that i havent had fun these last eighteen years. (eh give or take a few months) i have. it was life. ups. downs. all arounds.to think what life would have been like if my grandmom hadn’t mistakenly spilled the beans during spring break 2001 about the fact that we were moving. or if my dad had decided God wanted us in White House [yes that's a real place], TN instead. To think i wanted to move there instead of kansas… yet here I am.i’ve loved, laughed, grown, hurt, cried, been angry. i love how romans 8:28 never fails to come true. “And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose.” 

worrywart

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

    -Matthew 6:34

Its true. Trust me. I’m the queen of worrying. (see previous posts).

Just when money issues are hurled my way, i get 3 new opportunities to earn money. How awesome was this?

God can do all things. Why do I doubt that?