staying silly.

These girls rock. They remind me everytime I’m with them to be silly and imaginative in a way that only kiddos can! Things that when you get too caught up in life – you can tend to forget real easily.

zoobilee zoo and talkatoo the cockatoo

this was the best show ever. talkatoo was my favorite. ironically enough, she’s the “journalist” in the zoo. What do I want to be again? (check previous post if you don’t know the answer. :])

aw man. there sure are those moments where I wish I could be five again. I kinda want my VHS recordings of the show my granddad made for me.

when i grow up..

in kindergarten i wanted to be a ballerina. [i hadn't yet discovered my lack of coordination. at that age-everyone was clumsy.]

in second grade i wanted to be a teacher. [this dream held out for a little longer.]

in sixth/seventh grade i wanted to be a overseas missionary. [realized short term would be better. but who knows what God has in store.]

in eighth grade i wanted to be a photographer.

in eleventh grade i wanted to be a graphic designer.

in twelfth grade i wanted to be a journalist.

the dream now: to be a photographer and writer for sports illustrated.

what did/do you want to be when you grow up?

yikes.

this year has been filled with so many lasts.

my last first day of school (at home.) last homecoming. last high school football game. last first deadline with yearbook. last first semester high school finals. last winter break. last spring break. last deadline ever for yearbook. last last day of school (at home.) and the list continues. (really it could go on and on and on and on… you get the point.)

but there is one huge thing, that not a lot of kids my age have in their “lasts list.”

seven years ago I helped Debbie and Traci (along with my two lovelies Kristi, and Carley) start this thing at church called SWAT. The “Service Worship Adoration Team.” Really I think we just chose SWAT cause it sounded cool. But nonetheless, since the sunday we started, nearly every other week afterwards I was on that stage with Kristi and Carley leading the 3-5/6 graders in worship. We lost a few members, and gained a few, and then continued to grow. Until now. They still exist all right, it is so cool to see how far the team has come. Heck- THERE’S BOYS NOW! Exciting stuff.

Sunday is my last day on team. I am officially no longer a student (pertaining to church). weird.

trash baskets and trespasses

My mom forwarded me an email that she recieved today. It was originally from a preschool sunday school teacher at our church. During the prayer time for snack, the teacher asked a student to pray. Intending to say the Lord’s prayer, the child began to pray. Most of the prayer came out right..except for the part mentioning “trespasses.”

“Forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

I thought it sounded pretty theological.

the snail’s crawl decided to speed up.

i think i blinked.

and grew up when i wasn’t looking.

i know this is practically all i’ve thought about, and wrote about in the last year.. because its kinda consuming my life right now.

i was babysitting this adorable little gal tonight, claire. and when she showed me her cheerleading skills with her KSU pom poms, i told her i was going there next year. this concept didn’t click at all. she couldn’t understand why i wouldn’t be able to come play as much, why my “mommy” wasn’t coming, why i wouldn’t be at church every sunday, why i would be so far away, why i had to go.

i remember being four or five, like claire, and looking at the high school kids like they were giants. they were so big, and i’m pretty sure i had a similar conversation with, who i thought was the coolest person in the world at the time, Leah Hardin, my babysitter who went to college in Alabama–way far away from Michigan!

All these things have made me realize how senior year is just packed full with all these ‘lasts.’

saturday was my last high school dance (likely) ever. this is my last full week of high school. last night was my last thirst as a high school student. next time, i’ll be a high school graduate.

last homecoming, last WPA, last first semester finals. last two week long winter break. last field trip. last book project. last math class (3 left!). 

it’s all coming to an end. and while i’m so looking forward to going to college and having the freedom to choose for myself… i’m scared to death. i can’t believe it’s actually here. it took so long. and now graduation is in less than two weeks. i’m growing up and leaving this huge part of my life behind, and i’m not sure if i’m ready yet..

counting down.

I swear. I am trying not to wish my life away.

but at the same time.. these days keep flying by.

• six days til anaheim, CA :]
• thirty eight until i graduate. wow.
• fifty three until i leave for israel.
• eighty five until i see laura and gretchen and [hopefully] sarah!
• one hundred thirty six until kait and i move into the dorms.

dang. when did i get so old?

things i’ve learned in my 11.5 hours of being an “adult”

• eating healthy is very difficult to do on your birthday.
• strawberry cake is delicious. :]]
• i am totally in love with enchanted.
• time flies…very fast.
• statistics is still really hard.
• i have some wonderful friends. :]
• who compete to wish me happy birthday at midnight.
• there’s no “magical” change in turning eighteen.
• i can open my own bank account.
• God is sovereign and wonderful.

sincerely,

no longer a minor-laura

yesterday i drove across the country in a mini van

97 days until I walk across the gym outfitted in my blue cap and gown, complete with hawaiian lei at Mill Valley and shake Dr. Joe’s hand as I accept my diploma that states I am now a highschool graduate.40 days until i am no longer a minor. i can sign my own release forms. buy lotto tickets if i please. order off of infomercials. VOTE! be arrested and tried as an adult. [no worries. i'm not doing that route]. and i swear it was yesterday my mom and i were driving across the country in our green mini van stocked with doughnuts and miscellaneous other junk food as my dad and sister rode in the un-airconditioned moving van, complete with ice chests for cooling purposes. it was august fourth, 2001. where did it go? when did six, almost seven years soar past me? when did i become a teenager? when did i grow up? for that matter, when did my baby sister grow up? they say that as you get older, time passes faster.i used to not believe them. holy crud is that true. i remember waiting for time to pass. now i feel like i wished it away. it used to be that as soon as i turned an age, i wanted the next year to come. after all. thirteen meant i was cool. wow was that a long time ago. they also say that time flies when you’re having fun. while it does do that, i’m beginning to think it flies right by itself, no fun necessary.not that i havent had fun these last eighteen years. (eh give or take a few months) i have. it was life. ups. downs. all arounds.to think what life would have been like if my grandmom hadn’t mistakenly spilled the beans during spring break 2001 about the fact that we were moving. or if my dad had decided God wanted us in White House [yes that's a real place], TN instead. To think i wanted to move there instead of kansas… yet here I am.i’ve loved, laughed, grown, hurt, cried, been angry. i love how romans 8:28 never fails to come true. “And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose.” 

Imagination.

Today was one of those days when you just want to go back to being a kid.

When imagination is totally accepted (for the most part) and no one calls you silly for wanting to be a princess in the woods, which is really your back yard, and you’re a six year old girl.

As a kid, (I know I’m not totally out of that realm yet according to some, but work with me) imagination was my life. Literally. When I think of my childhood, I think of bows and arrows, and “fishing” for “fish” in the “river.” (In reality that was using a stick with a red string to try and snag smaller sticks in this ditch that would fill up to about 2 inches of water when it’d rain really hard.)

Or better yet. Lady Knights, and damsels in distress. Walking invisible dogs (Star and Moon to be exact), princesses of the snow mountain, slaves, exploring the Appalachian Mountains, or just picking “garlic” for the heck of it.

Tonight with the little boys I babysit, I was reminded of how precious imagination is. Not that I forgot, it’s just that a seventeen almost eighteen year old girl picking up a wooden spoon and starting a sword fight like she was a pirate would be seen as silly, stupid, or maybe insane. But a four year old can totally pull it off.

Why does growing up seem to require leaving behind that imagination?

I think its amazing that God gives us that ability. And its tragic when we lose that gift, to see something from nothing, and create a positive outlook out of anything. When you can entertain yourself for hours without the aid of TV or computer or cell phone or any kind of technology.  I feel like I’ve even fallen to this tragedy. I don’t know if you could simply hand me a stick, some string, and a fallen tree and I’d be able to play all day and all night like I used to.

Yet that same old feeling always comes back when I walk through any woods, be it in Laura’s backyard, or here in Kansas. Luckily they have the same feeling.